Weight Gain

O.k. so today is weigh in day and I wasn't even going to weigh in, because this week I did terrible. Then I figured I can't just blog about my wight loss I need to be honest and share everything. The good weeks and the bad weeks. So here is my bad week.
Last week 137.8
This week 138.8
OOPS! I put on a pound. I will work harder this week and I hope to be back down next week.

It is QUIET

Right now it is extremely QUIET in my house.

The older children are at piano with Dad. The three younger ones are upstairs taking naps because they don't feel well. So the house is nice and quiet. Now I sit here and wonder what should I do. Nothing I think I will spend some time talking with the Lord.

The Lord knows Best

About a week ago I asked everyone to pray about a job promotion for hubby. We had both said we Love you Lord either way promotion or no promotion. At this same time we were praying that maybe this would be the month that I would find out I was expecting again. So again we prayed and said we Love you Lord baby or no baby.

So at the end of the week we found out that there would be no promotion and also no baby this month. We went out to dinner and talked and laughed and both said "We love you Lord!" I am learning through this process of trusting God that it sure is easy to trust Him when everything goes our way, but do we still trust Him when things go His way. Yes we do but sometimes there is a little heartache, and He knows how we feel. I am just thankful that the God I serve is a big God who loves me and does know what is best for us. Through this past week of No's He did surprise us with a huge blessing.

Someone decided to bless us by paying off the rest of our hospital bill. Praise the Lord he takes care of everything. Thankful that the Lord doesn't always give us everything we ask for. I have grown closer to God these past 6 months than I think in my whole life.
Thanks Lord for holding me up and being my Father , I couldn't have done this without you.

Reaghan is 10!!!!

Where have these last ten years gone? I can't believe my little Reaghan Mae is 10. I will never forget the day I found out I was pregnant with her. I was shocked to say the least but what a beautiful blessing she has been to our family. So thankful the Lord gives us gifts when we least expect them because I think those are sometimes the best.
Happy birthday Reaghan. Have a very blessed 10th year. I love you Mommy.

Safe in The Arms of Jesus

Friday it will be 6 months since we lost our little Elias. Where has the time gone.
This week has been a great week for both Daddy and I. We picked out the headstone and it will be at the cemetery before Memorial day. I hope we can get up to South Dakota that weekend and see it. I am very excited about this because I feel like there is some closure.

As soon as we get a picture of the memorial I will post a picture.

This is what we had engraved on it.

Elias Arthur Lee Jensen
October 23rd, 2010
Safe in the Arms of Jesus

Weigh in Day

Weigh in day again for me. I didn't have a great week but I have received my 5% goal from weight watchers. So I am still losing it just is getting slower.
Last week 138.6
This week 137.8
Total lost this week .8 lbs. Not a whole lot but at least it was a loss.

7.8 lbs to go to reach my goal. 8 weeks left until vacation I am going to be cutting it really close.

The Little Man

We decided the little guy needed a 4 wheeler of his own. Every time the kids went out to play Levi would ride a pink scooter or a pink and purple 4 wheeler. We figured it was time to break down and buy a little boy toy. We are slowly incorporating boy items into this house that has been all girls for a very long time. We love our girls but we also love our boy.

Job Promotion (MAYBE)

Wow this has been one emotional week at our house. 6 months ago tomorrow we found out that our baby had no heartbeat and it felt like our world was falling apart. It was and sometimes still is. The one constant has been our faith. There have been days when all we could do was acknowledge that the Lord was in control, and then there have been days where we have cried out to God and He has simply held us in His mighty hands, and then there have been days where we have been filled with Joy and laughter and can see the light at the end of this tunnel.

My older daughters have been wonderful in taking up the slack when it was just to much for me. The times when I would cry, and they would give me a quick hug and then sit down and play with the little one's. This winter was probably the hardest for me with the holidays. For Christmas my 7 year old gave me a statue that has a cross and two little angels kneeling down. She said that it was our two babies that we have lost. What a precious gift from a child. She knows how important those babies were to mommy and I was so blessed by that gift. I have felt like I have gotten closer to my children during these last 6 months than their entire time they have been with me.

My husband started working nights the day he went back to work after our loss. Wow was that a slap in the face. I went to bed every night and just cried. I had lost my baby and now I was lying in bed at night alone and sad. During this time I had to really hold onto my faith and not let the depression completely consume me. Just a couple of days ago my husband had an interview for a different position at work. This would mean no more nights and an increase in pay. He applied for this in January and we had kind of swept it under the rug. Then out of nowhere he gets an e-mail and they want to start the interviewing process. We are just kind of in awe right now as we see the Lord's hand at work. We have laid our requests at His feet which was very emotional and we will remain faithful through all of this. We love the Lord no matter what, promotion or no promotion, and baby or no baby.

I ask for your prayers during this time for us to see the Lord's hand in all of this. And to remember that His ways are not always our ways.

4 Weeks Ago

4 weeks ago today I did my first official weigh in with Weight Watchers Online. I knew I was the heaviest I have been in a long time. I knew I wanted to get to at least 135 and maybe 130. I thought the 130 would be almost impossible but after today I think the 130 is obtainable.
4 weeks ago: 145.8
Today 138.6

7.2 lbs in 4 weeks. I can't believe it. I am so excited. I am now out of the 140's and into the 130's. 8 more to go. I know I can do this.

The Nursing Home

We try to go to the nursing home in town once a month. This last month the girls did their favorite song "You are my All in All." They tried a couple of new ones but I guess you could say they still need some work. Levi just loves to be up there singing with all of them. We were trying to hold him but as soon as they started singing he bolted out of daddy's arms and wanted to be right up in the front with everyone else. This time of going to serve at the nursing home has been a huge blessing to not only the residents but also to our children. They have really come out of their shells and enjoy the time that we get to be their. We will continue to work on new music hoping to bless the wonderful ladies and gentleman with songs of praise and joy .

A Different Day

Today I woke up and couldn't shake this feeling of just feeling blah. I am working on a Bible study right now called "Threads of Hope, Pieces of Joy." It is wonderful and I am so thankful a dear friend of mine gave it to me.

A few women who I know told me that it would get easier as time went by but I would still have days where the sadness would creep up on me. Today I think is one of those. Yesterday I was outside jumping rope with my kids, laughing and really having a great day. Today I just want to lay in bed and cry, which I know I can't. Yesterday as I was doing something with Levi I said to myself, " I am o.k. if I don't have anymore children." Today is a totally different story. Today I want to cry because I wonder if I ever will have anymore. I know that this too shall pass and I will hold on to my verse that promises a Harvest of JOY. Maybe just maybe I will have a good cry and move on with today.

Thanks to all of you have encouraged me with your comments and prayers, and to all of you have stuck by my side through this journey that will someday have an end.

Easter 2010

This Easter we spent it with a lovely family from our church. We had a wonderful time and they were very gracious hostesses. Their children put together an egg hunt that consisted of 266 eggs. Along with the egg hunt they had prizes for all of the children. What a wonderful and glorious Resurrection day we had. Thank you Cherry family for all the fun and fond memories we will cherish this Easter 2010.

Weigh in Day

It's weigh in day. I was a little nervous about getting on the scale today for a couple of reasons. I only walked once this week and only did Tae Bo twice. Well and with Easter I did eat a little more than I should have. But in the end I still had a loss.
Last week 141.4
This week 140.4
I lost another pound. I am so happy. This is really working. I know have a goal to try and be down another 10 lbs by the time we go to California in June. That gives me about 9 weeks. I will have to work hard.
In the last three weeks I have lost 5.4 lbs which I think is pretty good. I have to say I am pretty proud of myself.